Those of us over 30 shouldn't even be alive

>
>
> The truth in this borders on profound...
>
>
> PEOPLE OVER 30 SHOULD BE DEAD
>
> According to today's democratic regulators, lawyers,
> politicians and other bureaucrats, those of us who
> were kids in the 40's, 50's, 60's, or even maybe the
> early 70's probably shouldn't have survived.
>
> Our baby cribs were covered with bright colored
> lead-based paint. We had no childproof lids on
> medicine bottles, doors or cabinets, and when we rode
> our bikes, we had no helmets. (Not to mention the
> risks we took hitchhiking.)
>
> As children, we would ride in cars with no seat belts
> or air bags. Riding in the back of a pickup truck on
> a warm day was always a special treat. We drank water
> from the garden hose and not from a bottle. Horrors!
> We ate cupcakes, bread and butter, and drank soda pop
> with sugar in it, but we were never overweight
> because we were always outside playing.
>
> We shared one soft drink with four friends, from one
> bottle, and no one actually died from this. We would
> spend hours building our go-carts out of scraps and
> then rode down the hill, only to find out we forgot
> the brakes. After running into the bushes a few
> times, we learned to solve the problem.
>
> We would leave home in the morning and play all day,
> as long as we were back when the street lights came
> on. No one was able to reach us all day. No cell
> phones. Unthinkable!
>
> We did not have Playstations, Nintendo 64, X-Boxes, no
> video games at all, no 99 channels on cable, video
> tape movies, surround sound, personal cell phones,
> personal computers, or Internet chat rooms. We had
> friends. We went outside and found them. We played
> dodge ball, and sometimes, the ball would really hurt.
> We fell out of trees, got cut and broke bones and
> teeth, and there were no lawsuits from these
> accidents. They were accidents. No one was to blame
> but us. Remember accidents?
>
> We had fights and punched each other and got black and
> blue and learned to get over it
>
> We made up games with sticks and tennis balls and ate
> worms, and although we were told it would happen, we
> did not put out very many eyes, nor did the worms live
> inside us forever.
>
> We rode bikes or walked to a friend's home and knocked
> on the door, or rang the bell or just walked in and
> talked to them. Little League had tryouts and not
> everyone made the team. Those who didn't had to learn
> to deal with disappointment.
>
> Some students weren't as smart as others, so they
> failed a grade and were held back to repeat the same
> grade. Horrors! Tests were not adjusted for any
> reason. Our actions were our own. Consequences were
> expected.
>
> The idea of a parent bailing us out if we broke a law
> was unheard of. They actually sided with the law.
> Imagine that! This generation has produced some of
> the best risk-takers and problem solvers and
> inventors, ever.
>
> The past 50 years have been an explosion of innovation
> and new ideas. We had freedom, failure, success and
> responsibility, and we learned how to deal with it
> all. And you're one of them!
>
> Congratulations.
>
> Please pass this on to others who have had the luck to
> grow up as kids, before lawyers and government
> regulated our lives, for our own good.
>
> Kind of makes you want to run through the house with scissors,
> doesn't it ?
>

3 Ladies in a Sauna

Just thought I'd share so when you look outside and see the snow you can remember that in a few more months it will be pool season again!
---PEF

Three Ladies in a Sauna THREE WOMEN, TWO YOUNGER, AND ONE SENIOR CITIZEN, WERE SITTING NAKED IN A SAUNA. SUDDENLY THERE WAS A BEEPING SOUND. THE YOUNG WOMAN PRESSED HER FOREARM AND THE BEEP STOPPED. THE OTHERS LOOKED AT HER QUESTIONINGLY. 'THAT WAS MY PAGER,' SHE SAID. I HAVE A MICROCHIP UNDER THE SKIN OF MY ARM. A FEW MINUTES LATER, A PHONE RANG. THE SECOND YOUNG WOMAN LIFTED HER PALM TO HER EAR. WHEN SHE FINISHED, SHE EXPLAINED, 'THAT WAS MY MOBILE PHONE. I HAVE A MICROCHIP IN MY HAND.' THE OLDER WOMAN FELT VERY LOW -TECH. NOT TO BE OUT DONE, SHE DECIDED SHE HAD TO DO SOMETHING JUST AS IMPRESSIVE. SHE STEPPED OUT OF THE SAUNA AND WENT TO THE BATHROOM. SHE RETURNED WITH A PIECE OF TOILET PAPER HANGING FROM HER REAR END. THE OTHERS RAISED THEIR EYEBROWS AND STARED AT HER. THE OLDER WOMAN FINALLY SAID.........WELL, WILL YOU LOOK AT THAT....I'M GETTING A FAX!! When you stop laughing, send this to those who will appreciate it.

TV Converter for Seniors

You know what I love more than a pesky email forward? A forward that just has a url in it because whoever decided to start forwarding it was too lazy to embed the dang information. Because when I check my email I am so thrilled to browse the entire internet in search of a joke some stranger thought I'd like, right?
---PEF

Who says technology is too complicated for old people?

Subject: TV Converter For Seniors

http://www.hulu.com/watch/36608/talkshow-with-spike-feresten-cable-psa