Why We Love Kids

> > >
> > >
> > > Why We Love Kids
> > >
> > >
> > >  NUDITY
> > >
> > >
> > >  I was driving with my three young children one warm summer evening
>when
>a
> > > woman in the convertible ahead of us stood up and waved. She was stark
> > > naked! As I was reeling from the shock, I heard my 5-year-old shout
>from
> > the
> > > back seat, "Mom! That lady isn't wearing a seat belt!"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >  HONESTY
> > >
> > >
> > >  My son Zachary, 4, came screaming out of the bathroom to tell me he'd
> > > dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. So I fished it out and threw it
>in
> > the
> > > garbage. Zachary stood there thinking for a moment, then ran to my
> > bathroom
> > >
> > >
> > > and came out with my toothbrush. He held it up and said with a
>charming
> > > little smile, "We better throw this one out too then, 'cause it fell
>in
> > the
> > > toilet a few days ago.
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >  OPINIONS
> > >
> > >
> > >  On the first day of school, a first-grader handed his teacher a note
>from
> > > his mother. The note read, "The opinions expressed by this child are
>not
> > > necessarily those of his parents."
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >  KETCHUP
> > >
> > >
> > >  A woman was trying hard to get the ketchup to come out of the jar.
> > During
> > > her struggle the phone rang so she asked her 4-year-old daughter to
>answer
> > > the phone. "It's the minister, Mommy," the child said to her mother.
>Then
> > >
> > >
> > > she added, "Mommy can't come to the phone to talk to you right now.
>She's
> > > hitting the bottle."
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >  MORE NUDITY
> > >
> > >
> > >  A little boy got lost at the YMCA and found himself in the women's
>locker
> > > room. When he was spotted, the room burst into shrieks, with ladies
> > grabbing
> > > towels and running for cover. The little boy watched in amazement and
>then
> > > asked, "What's the matter haven't you ever seen a little boy before?"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >  POLICE # 1
> > >
> > >
> > >  While taking a routine vandalism report at an elementary school, I
>was
> > > interrupted by a little girl about 6 years old. Looking up and down at
>my
> > > uniform, she asked, "Are you a cop?" "Yes," I answered and continued
> > writing
> > >
> > >
> > > the report. "My mother said if I ever needed help I should ask the
>police.
> > > Is that right?" " Yes, that's right," I told her. "Well, then," she
>said
> > as
> > > she extended her foot toward me, "would you please tie my shoe?"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >  POLICE # 2
> > >
> > >
> > >  It was the end of the day when I parked my police van in front of the
> > > station. As I gathered my  equipment, my K-9 partner, Jake, was
>barking,
> > and
> > > I saw a little boy staring in at me. "Is that a dog you got back
>there?"
> > he
> > > asked. "It sure is," I replied. Puzzled, the boy looked at me and then
> > > towards the back of the van. Finally he said, "What'd he do?"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >  ELDERLY
> > >
> > >
> > >  While working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly
> > > shut-ins, I used to take my 4-year-old daughter on my afternoon
>rounds.
> > She
> > > was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age,
> > particularly
> > > the canes, walkers and wheelchairs. One day I found her staring at a
>pair
> > of
> > > false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable
> > > barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth
>fairy
> > will
> > > never believe this!"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >  DRESS-UP
> > >
> > >
> > >  A little girl was watching her parents dress for a party. When she
>saw
> > her
> > > dad donning his tuxedo, she warned, "Daddy, you shouldn't wear that
>suit."
> > > "And why not, darling?" "You know that it always gives you a headache
>the
> > > next morning."
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >  SCHOOL
> > >
> > >
> > >  A little girl had just finished her first week of school. "I'm just
> > wasting
> > > my time," she said to her mother. "I can't read, I can't write and
>they
> > > won't let me talk!"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >  BIBLE
> > >
> > >
> > >  A little boy opened the big family bible. He was fascinated as he
> > fingered
> > > through the old pages.  Suddenly, something fell out of the Bible. He
> > picked
> > >
> > >
> > > up the object and looked at it. What he saw was an old leaf that had
>been
> > > pressed in between the pages. "Mama, look what I found", the boy
>called
> > > out." What have you got there, dear?" With astonishment in the young
>boy's
> > >
> > >
> > > voice, he answered, "I think it's Adam's underwear!"
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> > >
> >