Men Are Just Happier

*-----Men are just happier... this is worth saving.*

NICKNAMES

- If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will

call each other

Laura, Kate and Sarah.

- If Mike, Dave and John go out, they will

affectionately refer to each

other as Fat Boy, Godzilla and Four-eyes.

EATING OUT

- When the bill arrives, Mike, Dave and John will each

throw in $20, even

though it's only for $32.50. None of them will have

anything smaller and

none will actually admit they want change back.

- When the girls get their bill, out come the pocket

calculators.

MONEY

- A man will pay $2 for a $1 item he needs.

- A woman will pay $1 for a $2 item that she

doesn't need but it's on

sale.

BATHROOMS

- A man has six items in his bathroom: toothbrush and

toothpaste, shaving

cream, razor, a bar of soap, and a towel

- The average number of items in the typical woman's

bathroom is 337. A

man would not be able to identify more than 20 of these

items.

ARGUMENTS

- A woman has the last word in any argument.

- Anything a man says after that is the beginning of a

new argument.

FUTURE

- A woman worries about the future until she gets a

husband.

- A man never worries about the future until he gets a

wife.

SUCCESS

- A successful man is one who makes more money than his

wife can spend.

- A successful woman is one who can find such a man.

MARRIAGE

- A woman marries a man expecting he will change, but he

doesn't.

- A man marries a woman expecting that she won't

change, but she does.

DRESSING UP

- A woman will dress up to go shopping, water the

plants, empty the

trash, answer the phone, read a book, and get the mail.

- A man will dress up for weddings and funerals.

NATURAL

- Men wake up as good-looking as they went to bed.

- Women somehow deteriorate during the night.

OFFSPRING

- Ah, children. A woman knows all about her children.

She knows about

dentist appointments and romances, best friends,

favorite foods, secret

fears and hopes and dreams.

- A man is vaguely aware of some short people living in

the house.

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY

A married man should forget his mistakes. There's no

use in two people

remembering the same thing!

SO, send this to the women who have a sense of humor and

who can handle it

... *and to the men who will enjoy reading it.*

*Have a great day.